Tag Archives: Dodgers Suck

Schadenfreude

While I laugh at the Dodgers and their misfortunes, this article on the McCourt divorce is a reminder of how much a team’s ownership affects the play on the field.

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Goodbye To Mannywood

Not any more.

HAHAHAHAHA!   The Mannywood sign has come down and rumors have it that Manny is even potential trade bait.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

All I Want For Christmas is..

1.  A sweep of the Dodgers

2.  Manny crapping himself in left

3.  Matt Kemp going 0-4 with 4 Ks

4.  A win over the Dodgers by 10 runs or more

5.  Joe Torre tripping over the top step of the dugout and eating it in front of 45,000 fans and a TV audience of millions

p.s. I have every confidence in an ump named Barksdale.

The Giants of Yore

Sad Giants Bear

Well, it only took me two weeks to become a pessimistic Giants fan again.  I knew it couldn’t last.  Renteria batting .800?  Molina going 4 for 4?  The Giants getting 8 or 9 runs a game?  It’s not natural.

No, we are lovable losers except when we aren’t lovable at all.  Take, for instance, Tuesday night’s game where we one hit the Padres and STILL managed to lose.  That’s so Giants.  And you know what?  I don’t blame the players.  I blame Bruce Bochy.  He is a terrible manager.  He has no tactical skills, no strategy at all.   And why does he hate John Bowker so much?

But, it’s early.  It’s time to dig in, realize that there are about 140 games left.  We have Lincecum.  We have Sandoval.  And most importantly, we aren’t the Dodgers.  That has to count for something.

Dear Diary

Hmm, I wanted to be really pissed off for this post but after a solid 8 hours of sleep, I’m just mildly annoyed.   Must be perspective, or something like that.

It was a double whammy for Bay Area sports fans last night.  Not only were the Giants down in LA facing the low-life Dodgers, but the Sharks were fighting to win a game in Round 1 of the playoffs.  Let’s relive the night that shaped lives.

My next day running diary of those two games:

7:15 – Delayed by drinks out with folks, manage to get home in the bottom of the first only to see the Dodgers up 3-0.  I feel a little bit of vomit rising in my throat.

7:40ish – Avs get a goal one minute into the first period.  Barf.

7:50ish – More runs for the Dodgers, it’s now 7-0 in the bottom of the second.  Seriously contemplating why I decided to come home for this garbage.

8:00-10:00ish – Score goes back and forth between the Avs and the Sharks, with the Sharks always playing catchup.  I’m starting to feel like I’m dating someone incedibly manipulative who enjoys stringing me along.  I’m losing patience, but I keep thinking, “deep down, they are a good team.  I’ll give them another few minutes.”

8:45ish –   Rowand gets hit in the head with a 94mph fastball.  I pace around the apartment, worried about him.  I text some fellow Giants fans with my outrage.  Obviously that was intentional, even if there was no logical reason why they would do that with an 8 run lead.

9:20ish –  Up 9-0, Matt Kemp tries to steal second.  How can Rhianna date that classless piece of trash?  Oh wait, she has a track record.

10:00 – We claw back and get 8 runs, but the game is over.  And I am relieved.  That game was like watching the first scene in Saving Private Ryan.  I am shell shocked.  Time to focus all of my attention on the Sharks.

10:10ish – Crap, on the way to another loss by the Sharks.  And I really hate some of those trashy Avs players, especially Galiardi.  What a douche.  So much for… WAIT!  Pavelski scores the tying goal with 12 seconds left in the game.  Sweet Jesus, we’re back in it!

10:16ish – Sharks on the power play.  At this point I am popping Tums and quietly humming the theme from Full House.  Setoguchi scores!  Yes, the not-so-little hockey elf comes through and saves me from throwing an ice cream bar at the TV.  I am relieved.  That ice cream bar was delicious.

So, now it’s the next morning and I am enjoying coffee.  That was then, and this is now.

Here is a more rational take on the Giants game.

My Incredibly Mature Giants/Dodgers Series Preview

I did a Google image search for ‘Dodgers Suck’ and saw a lot of Angels propaganda dissing the Dodgers.  While I appreciate the sentiment, who the hell do they think they are?  They aren’t relevant/cool/been around long enough for that.  Also, that is not a natural rivalry.  Before this prolonged inter-league play ‘experiment’ they never even played each other.  Go find your own rivalry, you little Angels bitches.

Feels so natural

Anyway, back to the preview.  I could break this down all sports reporter style and tell you who to watch and which players have it in for the Giants, but do you really care about individual Dodger players?  I thought not.  They are a monolith of evil.

So here goes the preview:

1.  Dodgers suck balls (true story)

2.  Dodgers are the black smoke monster on Lost

3.  Remember that weird kid in grammar school who ate glue and tortured small animals behind the gym?  That’s the Dodgers.

4.  The Dodgers hate puppies, kittens, bunnies and all things good and wonderful.  Including you.

Would you want that team to win?  Ok, then.

BEAT LA!

Why I’m Not a Dodgers Fan

Reason no. 2, 634:

ugh